Monday, 31 October 2016

My First Birthing Experience

Alhamdulillah. Next month, my baby will turn 1 year old and that means it has been 1 year since that 3very beautiful birthing day. I never wrote down properly that one big and most important event in my life so far and I guess this would be the right time to recall my first birthing experience! (and also because he is still sleeping soundly).

Let me start by the worst morning sickness I had since I was 6 weeks pregnant. Because of that awful morning sickness I was so afraid of things that are coming. I mean come on! This is only the start! Will I ever feel normal again? Or am I doom to feel uneasy like this for the rest of my life? I can't barely eat and puking was my bff then. I know I am taking my morning sickness really seriously but that is me when I am sick. I will feel so intensely sick that I always feel that it is the end of the world for me. So emotional T_T

Alhamdulillah the morning sickness was gone totally when I was 13 weeks.

One day I found few friends sharing this link that says something like "Pain-free Birthing" and I quickly clicked on the link. From there my life had changed forever! That was the day when I met HYPNOBIRTHING (HB)! (Still so thankful).

I googled HB and I purchased Marie Mongan book from MPH online. Wanted to join the 5 days classes but husband was a bit reluctant because you see, he (ok lah me also) is quite an organised person and we did have certain plans and budget for pregnancy (that answers why we have waited for 1 year. Glad we did!) And because of that, my husband kindly suggested that I read the book first because classes are not in our budget (will be for the next bub for sure! Lol).

I felt in love with HB instantly when I read the book. The first chapter is about how natural birthing was discovered. It totally change my perspective on pregnancy, birthing and the baby. For the first time I found out that I don't have to worry too much because you are not alone. It is not a process where only mothers have to push the baby out and it is not just about the scene in the labour room. The whole family (including the expected one) is involved! (By whole family I mean the mom, dad & upcoming baby not all the grandpas grandmas cousins aunts and whatnot ya). And for you to have that easy and calm birthing you MUST practise! Yup birthing goes through the same process. Practise, practise and practise! 

So everyday I practised according to the schedule. Scary labour stories does not scare me anymore, I have becoming more positive day by day. Alhamdulillah.

Okay, birthing part! Lol! Sorry it took me so long to come to this part. I shall start with the surges I felt on 26th November 2016. My mom told me to just chill because from the look of it she does not think little bub is coming out in near time. But as first time parents we were just concerned and decided to check if everything is ok. Tettttt wrong move, wrong move.

Vaginal Examination was done and there is no opening yet but but I have to be warded because I already have active contraction, my water reads 7 and the doctor suggest to induce me. I was like "Whattt???no!!!! Induction are crazy painful!!! I've began to feel scared and cried. The doctor was really kind to cancel the induction and suggest for another scan tomorrow and they will take it from there. Alhamdulillah! but still warded for the night.

By the way, we chose a general hospital because they are completely equipped (and super cheap). It's true, the room are really nice to start with. There are 2 toilets in each room. So relatively, you will only share 1 toilet with another person. Heaven enough for RM111 bill! :D The only back side is that no one can accompany you and u cannot choose your own doctor. So bye bye birth plan! 

And with that I breached the first rule of HB, to choose gynae that really supports what you want. So essential! Take note everyone! GH has to abide by their policies, It is us that should have searched for Gynaes  (Next baby list). You can't expect people to change just for you ya.

The next day, the blood show was quite alarming (for me). So I called the nurse. The nurse said it is not alarming but let's just do the VE *sigh*. Again???

But this time good news has come! The nurse said the opening is 5-7cm and the baby is coming at anytime now! Boy! That was quick! I don't feel a thing except for the "normal" active contraction I had since yesterday. So to the labour room we go!

In the labour room, VE again! But this time they said even if there is any opening it would be 2cm max but they are pretty sure it's like 1 cm only. Okayyy push me back to the ward please!!! I don't understand what really happened but I was not pushed back to the ward. I request nicely to have no intervention but they still have to attach that annoying CTG T_T

The surges are getting more intense as the time goes by so I focus on my breathing. Until 8 hours past by and I feel like there's a bucket of water coming out of me, I tried so hard to focus on my breathing but it was quite unbearable I had to hold on to the bed. I don't want to tell the nurse because I am so afraid of the VE. Lol. So I told my "trusted" birthing companion a.k.a my husband and guess what he did? Quickly told the nurse ">< 

The nurse wanted to do VE but she saw the baby's head coming. So no VE yeay!!!. And they prepared for the loooonggg awaited birthing!

Can't wait to do birth breathing at last!I whispered slowly while holding my belly "Come on baby, this is it! Let's do this together okay? We both will try hard!". The really sweet assistant nurse brief me on how and when to push and she said if I feel thirsty just tell her she will give me some water, How kind! So the first surge came and I quickly take a deep breathe and exhale inward slowly but I can feel there's no progress. So for the next surge I tried to grunt a bit and Alhamdulillah it worked! After few breaths and few sips of water, the baby is finally out. Alhamdulillah!     

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Can't sleep

Life is never about competition. So don't compare. Don't compare yourself with others nor comparing others with others (errr get what I'm tryin to say?).

Go slowly or as fast as u want
Either way it's a race with one participant,
Only one.

Not between you and me,
Nor between you and them.

Let them be,
And let yourself free.

If it is a race between you yourself,
You should be the rabbit and you should be the turtle.

Pick and choose your speed,
Only you know your limit.

By the end of the day the finish line is also yours,
And yours alone.

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Party planning

Fateh will turn 1 in another 3 months++ and I am now officially busy making preprations. Excuse the excitement.

So we had agreed upon close family celebration because Fateh is still small and taking care of he himself will need our fullest energy so forget about inviting people. Hubster said we can make a big one when he turns 5 😓

I disagree at first because his aqiqah was already too simple and by simple I mean no celebration no nothing because we wanted to perform it on the 7th day. So we did it online using ezqurban. So efficient! We had ours at Indonesia. They sent pictures and certificate as proof.

So I was thinking of at least a kenduri doa selamat but hubster being hubster (that one right there really knows how to negogiate alright. You will only end up saying yes. Yes, voluntarily), he does not only propose a close family get together.. but.. a getaway. Just a nearby resort but telling the idea to my mom and sil has already excite them. So I guess it is in fact a good idea.

Boo wawa and her "big" celebration idea. They didn't literally booed me lah. They just emphasizing on the pros and cons of having a getaway rather than a kenduri. In another words, reiterating every single points that hubster said earlier *ouchhh*

So I guess hubster wins this time. Ahhhh winning or losing, I still decides the team (or not?)